58 Anyos Ako, Isang 34 Anyos na Lalaki ang Nagbago sa Buhay Ko | Mga Kwentong OFW

Dear admin, I’m Lorna. 58 years old. For more than three decade, I knew only one thing to do. Be a mom. I wasn’t woman I was never free. And especially I have not been a person with own dreams. The whole my life only revolved around one person, the my son I don’t think the time will come when I myself will ashamed of myself Just because first time in 35 years, I loved a man and the painfully, the first person to object was not a neighbor, not a relative, but my own son that I fought for a long time in life. Admin. Before you judge me, listen read my whole story first. 23 I’m old enough to get pregnant. When that time, I feel like it’s mine that the whole world. I have a boyfriend then. He is kind, hardworking and a lot promise. he said, “We’ll get married when we’re both we are stable.” I was young enough to believe me I believed for life love Until one day said i’m pregnant He didn’t shout. He wasn’t angry. He is not got into a fight. He just smiled and said he would talk us. Tomorrow, the future never came. Nope that he answered the call. When visited I’m renting it, it’s gone he. left with his family no explanation no goodbye in an instant from girl dreams to be wife became a single and pregnant woman many have told me before I will just adopt the child someone said I’m still young and happy the life k also said it’s hard to be single mother but every time I put the my hand on my stomach. I don’t can do It’s my son that’s why I chose it continue. What followed was not easy year admin. I gave birth to. no one next to it. No one held hands I. No other waited on outside the delivery room but the mother just me When I come out, I too the first to hug my son. I named him Miguel. From then, he became my world. I worked everywhere. Cleaned up of house, cooked in carenderya, guarded the store. But as Miguel grows, more is also growing in cost. It got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore. There I did the hardest thing decision in my life. OFW I’m in the Middle East and Hong Kong. To this day, I still remember the first day that I left Miguel to my mother. Five years old he was the only one. He hugged the my leg while crying over and over telling me not to leave. Admin, I want to go back then. like I want to cancel everything but I don’t have anything money I have no choice. So I left at the airport. I cried all the time turned away so that I could not be seen by my son I didn’t know then that one that decision will eat almost entirely my youth Abroad is not good life. Unlike others think that when you are abroad you are happy immediately I also worked in Hong Kong as a cleaner, cook and sometimes guardian of the elderly. often no sleep, sometimes a boss is kind. Sometimes not. The first year crying me every night Every video call I smile. When Miguel asks me if I’m happy me, i always say yes. He didn’t know after the call, I was crying at bathroom The year passed. grew up Miguel. Grade school, high school, college. I don’t come home every year, sometimes two years, sometimes three year. Gradually I got used to it see him grow up on screen. May one day i came home for his graduation. Admin, I don’t forget that. The name was called him on stage. He stood up. I clapped after he looked at me and smiled. When at that moment I said to myself, “It is all worth it because it’s done my son is in engineering. It’s worth the fatigue, it’s worth the sadness, the nights alone are worth it crying in another country. after that, I returned abroad again. Continued until able to save. Until Miguel had a job. Licensed, married, had his own family and one day he said to me, “Mom, that’s right. Go home now.” I don’t know what to feel I. Am I happy? Afraid? It seems the same. Because it’s the first time inside for a very long time, nothing need me I returned home to the Philippines with my savings to buy a small house in Tagaytay and turn it into a boarding house and my son helped me. Three bedroom, one for me. Two rentals. It’s simple. Quiet. At first it was fun to cook I can clean, go to church. But the longer I pay attention, there is very quiet Nothing more calls every day. Miguel is busy with own family. It’s normal. I’m not complaining but admin, some nights I eat alone and makes me question myself. Is that it? Is life like this? after you give it all? Wake up, eat, sleep? Repeatedly. Sometimes I have no one to talk to all day until I got used to it. Until one afternoon watering me in the yard The sun is hot, quiet the surroundings. Then someone knocked on the gate. When I opened it, I saw something man Tall, thin. There is something a suitcase He looks tired. It seems several days of not sleeping well. He looked at me and spoke, “Maam, is it a boarding house?” this? Is there still a vacancy?” “I don’t know then it was the simple knocking that will break the silence of I’ve been alive for decades used to And that man’s name, Ethan. I stared at the man. No i know why But first look it’s just that he seems to be carrying something heavy even if he doesn’t have. saying He is tall, but thin fine, get dressed. Doesn’t look like a hangover or reprimand The first thing I noticed is his eye. It seems to be lacking sleep It seems like a long time without rest. He brought with him as a medium size suitcase and backpack. look he in me and partly bowed before speaking. Is there still a vacancy? I looked behind me. Quiet it’s the house. There are two rooms vacant. I’m not even looking a special border. I said there is and I asked how many they were. He is said to be the only one. I opened the gate and let him in. While walking we go inside the yard, I noticed he was quiet. Nope he’s the border type many questions or very good get together right away. Neither is he look around. as if he just really wants a place that is restful. I asked where it was from he. He said, “Quezon City and he does remote work. So he wants to get away and rest first. I just nodded and showed the empty room. That’s small. There is a bed, cabinet, small table and window facing the yard. Simple but cozy. Quiet too because it’s at the end of the house. He’s not anymore asked too much. Just look around for a while then right away said that’s what he would take. I was even surprised because not at all he looked at another room. I asked if he was sure and he just nodded. We talked about in rent. One month advance and a small deposit as I said including breakfast and dinner if desired he. He looked at me for a moment before answering. He asked if it was me is the cook? I said yes and when there is a border I cook. Nod he but it seems like someone wants it say it didn’t work. While being repaired he used his, come back I’m in the kitchen. I don’t know why. But for the first time in a long time weather, I didn’t cook instant noodles. I cooked real food, pork porridge, tortilla eggplant and vegetables. Just simple food. But I haven’t for a long time I do it when I’m alone. While I was cutting the vegetables, I noticed the house is a little lighter. Not so quiet anymore. It seems there is a little life back inside a house that has been almost empty for several years sound but TV and electric fan. After dinner, I knocked on his door and I said I will eat. He went out immediately When he sat down at the table, he looked he in food. He asked if it was all me did it then It made me smile and said I won’t buy it cooked dish for my border. Weak he smiled and started we eat Quiet but not awkward. It’s really quiet. Every now and then I ask. Some how old is he? 34. Have a family? They said nothing. Married Shake your head again. I did not continue the questioning We continued to eat until he suddenly stopped and look at me He hesitated a bit he called me. First ma’am then stop. I said just Lorna and don’t ma’am. He nodded and then he said that it was long he said he couldn’t eat of this food. I don’t know why But something hit on my chest Not because the is special I cooked but because of the method of he said. Apparently not what he misses is food. It seems there is something else. So I said. just while he’s here, don’t he will worry about food. He nodded and we were silent again eat After eating, I washed of dishes as he returned to the room he. A few minutes passed and I heard a soft knock. I turned to Ethan. He is holding something two cups. He asked if Do I like coffee? I said yes and I asked why. He held out a cup and said He said he mixed. Looked me in the cup It’s still hot. I can’t remember when was the last time someone brewed coffee for me. Neither do I remember the last time someone asked if I want coffee I’m quiet accepted and we sat in the small kitchen table. Quiet again. Then after a few minutes, he spoke. Said he said, “It’s quiet here.” I smiled and said I’m used to it me He didn’t answer right away. Then he weakly said that he was is not used to silence. I don’t know why. But when that night, first time at I haven’t slept in a long time immediately And not because there is a man in the house but because first time in long time, someone else breathed in again my house Tomorrow admin, I’m early woke up as I always do. Even retired me being an OFW, no longer lost to my body has the habit of getting up early. I used to wake up before dawn day. I’m used to having a job right away even if there is no boss and no need take care, I just woke up at 5:00. get up me, put on slippers and left the room to brew coffee The house is still quiet, a little the air is still cold because of the ridge. As I walked to the kitchen, I immediately smelled the coffee. I stopped. I thought I left open the electric kettle. But I entered the kitchen, I saw something two cups on the table. There is still smoke. I looked around and it was right Ethan came out from the kitchen. Just wearing a simple t-shirt and jogging pants. He looked at me and spoke like it was normal everything. He said he woke up early that’s why he also brewed and made one for me I looked at the cup. I don’t know why but it seems what was said did not immediately enter my mind he. The only thing that impresses me is there brewed coffee for me. It’s such a simple thing but it’s not I remember the last time someone did it then for me On of me, I’m the one who keeps for the boss. When I was with Miguel, I was the working for my son Even when he is an engineer and has his own of life, I didn’t wait either he did that because it was normal that the child is busy. So I don’t know why there seems to be strange feeling in my chest. In simple cup of coffee. Sit down I tasted it. Exactly. Nope sweet Not bitter either. I looked at you Ethan and I asked how he found out my mixture. He smiled a little and said is just a guess he said. I don’t know why but I laughed me I said, his luck and he guessed right. He didn’t answer right away. Just nod and drank his own coffee. Quiet again. But the silence is different that. He is no longer the quiet one heavy It’s like you’re just with someone but no need to speak. Passed the days and we gradually got used to the routine. Every morning there two cups of coffee on the table. Every afternoon we eat quietly. Every night, sometimes watching only TV. We are not talkative though not awkward either. And there’s my. noticed another thing about you Ethan. He’s quiet but observant He doesn’t ask but notices His is the little things. One day a delivery arrived rice 20 kilos. I used to be able to lift but these past few years my back hurts. So I pull just come in. Admin, I’m used to it no one helps. I’m used to it i’m all So while I was pulling it going in, I didn’t see him next to me it turned out to be Ethan. He didn’t speak. He didn’t even ask. Just picked up he took the sack and brought it to the kitchen. It seems effortless. Looked I’m just with him. I don’t know why but I feel embarrassed. Not because he carried me but because I realized a long time ago I didn’t let anyone help me. I thanked. He just nodded and He said is heavy for to me The answer is simple though I remember you all day. After a few days again, it broke the kitchen faucet. dripping all night I thought I would call will do tomorrow. At night while I was watching TV, I heard something crackle I didn’t care. The next day I’m going to the kitchen, fine that’s the faucet. I asked if who did Ethan said he was. He is said to know a little repair I asked why he didn’t say. He just answered something small that’s all. Admin, I don’t know but that’s where I started to be alert Not because there is anything wrong with him doing. Quite the contrary. He is too kind and sometimes the is scarier more kindness than evil attitude I don’t know why he did doing those things. He’s just Border, paying for rent It is not his obligation. But every day he seems to be doing something little things to make life easier my. Until one night while I’m washing the dishes, he came and asked me if I want to walk. I was surprised. I asked where. Said he said, “Even outside. The air is said to be good. I looked to him. I don’t remember when last time someone asked me out walk Maybe when Miguel was young or maybe longer. First refused. I said, I’m tired. But said he said, it doesn’t have to be far. Even if it’s just 10 minutes. I don’t know why, but I agree. We walked on the quiet road of subdivision. The air is quite cold. There are lights from distant houses. Nothing we talked too much until suddenly he spoke. He asked if I’m with my family house I said no. I have a child but he has his own. family It’s an engineer and it’s fine life. He listened quietly. After a few seconds he didn’t spoke before saying that he was lucky my son I smiled and asked if why He silently looked ahead before saying that the mother left him her when she was young. My feet stopped. I don’t know why But when he said that, something moved inside I and that’s when I first felt that maybe I’m not the only person long alone. After that night, admin, may what has changed It’s not dramatic and it didn’t seem like it happened suddenly either we are very close. But something is different ease into our daily lives. beginning when Ethan said about the mother he left, when he was young, no I just see him as a border just. I don’t know why either. Maybe because there is a part of myself that understands feeling. that someone is missing. I grew up and grow old without a partner. While he grew up lacking in parents Different but we are the same there’s a quiet sadness that doesn’t as long as other people see it. Then then, walking became normal we every night. Not every day though often. After dinner and put away dishes, I can just hear him will say the air is nice outside. At first, was just a simple walk about the weather, his work, the yard plants and if how cold it is in Tagaytay at night. But as time goes on, more the story increased. He told a story he worked for a long time in Manila and the income is good. But He said he didn’t understand why he’s so tired even without he is a serious problem. He said he felt it every day waking up just to finish the day. I asked why not him vacationing with friends or family. He is a moment was silent before answering that there was nothing he is too much of a person to run away from. I don’t know why but my chest is tight when I heard that. One night while we were walking, he noticed that I was a little out of breath. He said, “First we sit in a small waiting shed on the side of the road. We sat and were silent while looking at the light of the car in the distance. He suddenly me asked if I was happy. Nope I immediately answered. It’s simple question but it seems difficult to answer. So I just said it’s fine my life graduated the my son He is an engineer. Has a family already. I’m back home. There’s a house me It’s complete. He’s just quiet listened then looked at me and said that it was not that he asks. he asked again if I’m happy as I am. Not as a mother. Not as before OFW. I just couldn’t answer. Actually just admin I don’t know the answer. I thought. When was the last time? do something for myself? When was the last time I wanted someone? go to? When was the last time I bought a used without thinking about whether it is necessary is that Miguel’s? When was the last time I greeted as a person and not as a mother? I can’t remember. So I just laughed and said I’m too old to think like that thing. He looked silently to me then he said no it is said that humanity is lost when getting older I don’t know why but I was shocked and couldn’t answer. When we got home that night, I wasn’t there immediately fell asleep. The next day, woke up I was a little heavy-headed. thought I just lack sleep. But as time goes on I feel worse, I still insisted on cleaning and cooking. But by noon, it was getting cold me I didn’t say to Ethan because I don’t want to be taken care of. I’m used to it I take care but maybe obvious. While I was preparing to eat, he came and asked if I was fine. I said I was just tired but held on he touched my forehead and said I was hot. I don’t know why but I was stiff. Not because of holding but because there was nothing for a long time asked if I’m sick I said okay I’ll just sleep. I entered in the room and lie down. When I woke up, it was dark and there was cold bump on my forehead. Wide open me Ethan was there. There is a small just a light on the side and he was sitting on chair. When he looked at me, he smiled a little and said My fever is said to have gone down. I looked at the table. There is porridge, there is medicine, with water. I asked how long has he been there? He said he didn’t know, he just didn’t want to he said to leave me alone. I don’t I don’t know why but it seems like something is blocking it my throat I said he didn’t that has to be done. Quiet he looked at me before saying he said he doesn’t do because needed. He said he does it because he wants to he. I was silent again and then he said that when he was a child when he was sick he has no one to take care of him. Sometimes he said he was sleeping alone He said he didn’t want to until he got better I will experience that. Admin, I don’t know why but that was the first time I was scared. Nope because something bad is happening but because I noticed I was waiting that’s what he’s doing. That coffee, waiting for dinner, that inviting to walk, the one talking. And I was afraid of what I thought because at my age, why don’t I want to back to my old quiet life and I was even more scared when I realized it was not I just feel sorry for you Ethan. After that day, admin, my fever is cured but my mind did not go back to before. thought I lost the pain of body, something will also be lost bothering my chest. It’s not. In instead, everything became more complicated. Every morning, I wake up and I see two cups of coffee in the table. There is a strange feeling. When we have dinner and talking about the little things, I notice I’m looking forward to it that’s it. When it’s night and he doesn’t sleep walk, it feels like something is missing from my day. At first, I was reprimanded myself. I said, it’s just an effect of being alone for a long time period. I said, “I’m just comforted because it took so long I don’t have anyone at home.” But while I repeat telling myself that, no more I’m convinced I started stay away Not obvious to avoid but enough to be noticed. When he brews coffee, I say I’ll be later drink. When to eat, more I’ll finish quickly and go in right away in the bedroom. When he asks walk, I’ll say I’m tired or something still clean. I thought when I put distance, I’ll be back in normal. But what happened, it became quieter the house And that’s when I realized which is not the house it was quiet then. It’s me. Three days I’m like that. Quiet, careful, avoid look I don’t know if he noticed though Ethan hasn’t changed. still the same. Still brewing coffee Still eat quietly. No one questions, no complaints. But there is noticed me He’s not so much anymore smile He’s on more often bedroom and his answer is shorter. On the fourth day, then we had dinner, I was washing up dishes when I heard footsteps behind me. I thought I would get it he’s just water but he’s not move We were silent for a few seconds until he spoke. He asked if she had done anything wrong I didn’t look back. I said nothing. Quiet again. Then he asked why am I avoiding him? My hand stopped at washing I don’t know what to answer. I don’t can tell the truth. how can i say to a 34 year old man i’m scared because I’m 58? I’m thrilled when he hands me coffee. So I just said no and I’m just a little tired these days. Quiet again. Then he said no They say I know how to lie. Admin, I don’t know why but I feel like I’m caught. I turned off the faucet and faced him. He just stood there by the kitchen door. not angry, not serious but someone seems to want to understand. He asked if she had done anything got away from me. Shake your head me He asked if anything was said he is wrong. I shook my head again. He was silent for a few seconds before spoke He said, “Then why is it like that? I suddenly disappeared? I’m not answered.” Then he breathed a deep and he said something to ask he said. But I wish I could answer that’s the truth. I nodded. He looked to me and asked if it was because of I was sick at night. It’s like someone stopped inside me I don’t know how he does it found out. I didn’t answer. He just looked at me and then smiled a little. He said that night while he takes care of me, may It is said that there were moments when I did not sleep and He said he noticed that I looked at him differently him. After that. Even more I couldn’t answer. Admin, I wanted to laugh then. I want to say what I think he. But I can’t do because he is right He approached quietly little and spoke. He said he didn’t know if needless to say but he doesn’t want to I avoided I asked why. He didn’t answer for a long time. Then he said it’s been a long time he is uncomfortable with any place. Even on their own his apartment in Manila, even in work, even with the people around to him. But here it is my house, it’s the first time he’s not hurried away I’m not be able to look He just keeps going. He said he didn’t know when it started but he said he was also looking forward to the dinner Looking forward to morning coffee, looking forward to the night walk, he breathed slowly. Done he said, “The line until now i can’t forget When is with you, it doesn’t seem like it I’m alone.” Admin, I was scared not because of he said but because we are the same feeling And that’s when I first realized maybe it’s not really simple mercy anymore. simple care or simple being nice And at first chance, for 35 years, I was afraid to admit it to myself I want to hear those again that word. After that night, admin, no conversation happened about that. No one admits, no one tried, nothing changed outside. But the same we know that something has changed in the next day it’s normal again. Both waking hours, same coffee, same dinner. But that’s different feeling Quieter, more careful and maybe we are both afraid to be named whatever it is. Passed the almost a week of one morning Miguel called. His voice is happy. He said, “There is good news. Their leave was approved and they said they wanted it they go on vacation in Tagaytay with his wife and son. I don’t know why, but I’m nervous not because something is wrong but because I suddenly remembered everything. The two cups of coffee, walking, the care and those things I can’t do anymore just call it normal. I’m happy my son can hear but there is a question what fear entered my chest. I told Ethan that he was coming Miguel. He just nodded. he said, “It’s good to be with I’m my family.” I don’t know why but there was sadness in his voice. Passed by the few days as the Miguel used to. Gradually too I became elusive again. Not because I don’t like Ethan. but because I want to I went back to before the arrival my son But while I was trying to fix it everything, I realized even more we never went back to before it’s been a long time. One night before the arrival of Miguel, I’m in the kitchen preparing to eat Just be quiet. come closer Ethan and he said he looked tired it’s me made me smile and said just excited. He is quiet nodded. After a few seconds, he said it might be necessary he said he left too. I looked to him. I asked why. Said he doesn’t want to be the reason. For my life becomes complicated. Nope I immediately answered. I don’t know why. But seems to be tightened my chest I asked if I wanted it he really left. No he answered immediately. Then he smiled and said no. Quiet again. And that’s where I first heard the I speak without my own considered. I said, “You don’t have to leave.” When I said that, I was like surprised himself. He’s just quiet. Then he smiled a little. And that’s where we stopped. He approached me. He held the my face He hugged me and kissed me on the lips down to the chest while I slowly touch the ano he. I won’t go into detail happened to us, admin. But for the first time in over three decades, I was watered more younger than me and felt It’s not too late to feel it I’m a woman again. tomorrow Miguel arrived. It’s still early i’m getting ready Cooked a favorite his food. I am excited. I didn’t see him for a long time either saw Around noon someone stopped car outside. Opening the gate, Miguel came down. Taller, more mature, glasses, carrying a child. He hugs the to me, it seems like everyone is back gone. I’m happy happy indeed. Then we went inside and there he saw Ethan. Ethan was silent and greeted. hello yeah Miguel nodded. First, normal. he asked who. I said border, he nodded again. But as the day went by, i noticed Miguel is observant. He noticed maybe the way we talk, being comfortable, the little things. Until night, I moved the table while I bring a plate, suddenly a glass slipped. still new fell, Ethan quickly caught it. Then he said, “It’s okay. It’s simple. But I saw his face Miguel. Silent shock and thought. When that night he knocked on my room. When he entered, he sat next to me. Quiet first. Then he asked me Mother, does he want to say something? yours?” I couldn’t answer. I just looked. Then he looked at me and his weak said, “Mom! He is younger than me. Completely silent room and for the first time, for many years, I have not been afraid tell the truth.” I breathed in deep then I said, “I don’t know what it is, son. The I just know, I’ve been a mother for a long time and now it’s just my again felt that someone was saying hello to me as me is quiet Miguel. He did not speak immediately. Then he took a deep breath and look at me. Then said he said, “Mom, I’m not angry.” I stopped. I’m just scared. I looked at him. He is quiet looked at the floor before speaking again. Not because he was younger. Nope because something is wrong. I’m just scared that you might get hurt. Your whole life is you the one who gave You are the one who endured. I don’t want the time to come people who use now you are the fragile one. I am quiet listened. Then there he looked at me and said, “Mom, why didn’t you say you were sad? It felt like something fell on my chest. Nope I answered. I cried and there was my first my son was told things that were not I said for 35 years I’m also tired and sometimes sad too I sometimes want to have one too ask if I have eaten Quiet he listened. Then he came and hugged me and said, “I’m an engineer now. Has a family and a good life. It didn’t mean that. you are done to be human. The next day before they left, came over Miguel to Ethan. They talked already i didn’t hear Then Miguel came back and smiled and said, “Mother, just don’t forget that you choose the person who will make you happy It’s not the pity.” Before they left, he turned and laughed. “But mother, He’s really a child.” I also laughed at first time and admin, that’s the only time I understood. Being a woman never ends just because you became a mother and it’s not a sin to like it either please make coffee again for you That’s it for now my story admin Thank you very much compatriots. What can you say to became Lorna’s story? Actually, this is the kind of story that is difficult judge immediately especially if we have not experienced the a person’s whole life. Many of our mothers, OFWs, Widows or lonely people the choice not to love again. Not because there is no opportunity but because the child comes first, family, responsibility and sometimes. Just used to being alone. have children also objected to this kind of relationship and also understandable let’s do that. Especially if the younger person who comes into the parent’s life them. As a child, it’s probably normal worry, doubt or fear their parents might be hurt. But to Lorna’s story, not only age is the talk. The deeper that question here, is there still a right? let make a person happy he gave his whole life to others? When you become a mother, it’s over is being a woman? when you finished raising your child, are you not allowed to have your own? fun? Or the time will come you can choose yourself no means that you love more yourself than family. And for the kids watching today, sometimes let’s also ask the our our When was the last time you said hello to mom? our not as mother but as a person? Comment below folks, the your opinion If you are Miguel, will you accept the relationship of your mother? And if you and Lorna, will you still choose to love again? or will you stay alone? And we also want to know in which country are you watching our video now? Are you into Middle East? Europe, Asia, Canada, Australia or other part of the world? And if you want another thought-provoking story and can say what I didn’t think that will happen. Don’t miss it our other OFW story entitled OFW nursed to the paralyzed master thought to be pregnant. Thank you very much for staying up at the end of this story. If there is a story you also want to release, letters of sacrifice, bereavement, victory or defeat as an OFW, tomorrow this channel for yours You can send yours story and we will respect yours identity. Thanks for watching and see you in the next